In Other Words With Dave

“The trouble is you think you have time.” – Buddha

It’s been well over a year now since my stem cell transplants. I’ve gained back the 50 pounds I had lost. Every morning I swallow a handful of pills and every week I go to Mercy for chemo. I’m doing well. How could this ever become normal – but it has. 

I wish I could say that having the “Big C” has given me a newfound profound appreciation for time – and I don’t waste any of it, but that’s not true. I just finished watching all 236 episodes of Friends. You know, I’d do it again. I haven’t taken up noble causes like volunteering and philanthropy or pursued a deeper dive into religion. 

For me, it’s an inside job. I have made peace with a lot of my issues. I have a gratitude that I have not had before. I say “I love you” more than I ever have. I enjoy the relationships I have. And I worry less – or maybe the same amount, but now with less intensity. The world will keep turning whether a certain issue goes my way or not – and will eventually turn without me. I’m also less self-critical than I have ever been, maybe some of this is my age. Maybe it’s therapy. Or 30 plus years of sobriety. Perhaps it’s all those things – and the cancer. 

Maybe my situation has allowed me to focus more clearly on the time I am blessed with. Yeah, I’m going with that.

Dave Miller

Publisher & Back40 Design President