In Other Words with Dave
Halloween is a time for donning costumes and becoming someone else for a little while. A once-a-year opportunity to become a princess, a pirate, a superhero. I guess I’m lucky. I get to take on a different persona quite often – in fact, I’ve been told, every time I travel I become a somewhat more annoying version of myself (thanks Alison). My eyes get squinty, my pulse quickens, my hearing intensifies yet becomes even more selective and I break into a mild sweat. Yes, I’m talking about “Airport Dave.”
Airport Dave’s job is to get himself and whoever he is unfortunate enough to be traveling with – to their intended destination in the most efficient and expedient way possible.
Airport Dave has this all figured out. Most people say get to the airport an hour early. What if there’s a wreck, 4am traffic, or an earthquake? No, we must get there earlier. Trust me. And please, I must have silence while I locate the most efficient parking spot in the long term parking lot. Please, more silence while I weigh the option of taking the parking lot shuttle or leading us on foot to the gate with our bags in tow (I do mean leading – like 50-75 feet ahead of you). Yes, we will hoof it. It gives us more control. As I approach the airport, my fast walk transforms into a slow jog. The little wheels on my suitcase begin to smoke. Stay with me – that’s your only job. You hate me, I know you do.
As we check our bags, I’m frustrated by the airline’s lack of efficiency. Don’t they know my flight leaves in two hours and I still need to get through a line of a dozen people at the TSA checkpoint? Don’t they know I have a layover in Vegas that needs my tactical attention?
You get the idea. I’m no fun to travel with. But the good news is, I’m me again when I reach my destination. Lounging by the pool enjoying the sun on my face, I’m relaxed… wait, where exactly is the rental car return place again? I need to check on that. There might be a shuttle involved.