Happy Heavenly Birthday, Jay!

It’s another first! So many “firsts” after losing a loved one. In just five months, I’ve already hit Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, as well as first snow, first trip without Jay and more. Now April brings a “first birthday” without my sweet son.

Birthdays have always been special in our home. My kids would wake up to birthday streamers in their doorways, along with birthday banners throughout the house. When Jay was just a little tyke, he had no idea what to think about the streamers hanging in his doorway. I watched as he stood in his room and studied them a minute. Then suddenly, he hunkered down and crawled under them. What a cutie!

And of course there were always birthday festivities. Whether Jay celebrated with a party at home, a restaurant, limo, concert, Chuck E. Cheese, or any other arena, he loved it as long as there were cake, candles and presents. He never ate the cake but loved blowing out the candles. He also enjoyed birthday cards, especially if there was a little money tucked inside. And if you gave him any WWE gift, you hit the jackpot. Jay was an avid fan. And though he never got to meet John Cena, the renowned wrestler, Jay loved meeting several of his favorite Christian music artists, as well as a few Hollywood stars, and everyone’s beloved Captain Kangaroo.

Memories flood my soul as I think of Jay’s 46 beautiful birthdays. They bring a wealth of emotions. Sad tears. Happy tears. All from a heart of love. And oh, how Jay brought such treasures to my life with his smile, hugs, excitement and unbridled joy. My heart has always been overwhelmed with Jay’s unconditional love and I miss him desperately.

Not sure how I’m going to handle this latest “first,” but I’ll definitely sing and celebrate on my boy’s special day. I might even dance because I know Jay would be dancing if he were here. In fact, I’m sure he’s already dancing in heaven while angels sing his birthday song.

“Happy Heavenly Birthday, Jay! Love, Love, Love And Miss You, My Sweet Son!”