In Other Words with Dave

Our loss is your gain. Barely used dining table for sale. Sale forced by… well, let me tell you about it.

Last year around this time, Alison started mentioning (let’s be clear – this is NOT nagging) that the holidays were coming up and she didn’t want to serve a special family dinner on folding tables (again). Understood. I took on the success of the holidays as my sole responsibility. With our family time in serious jeopardy, I mentally prepared myself for a trip south to the land of shopper stalkers and easy payment plans, yes, the mega-furniture stores along Reno Ave. Clearly panicked, I found a table at the first store we visited. Alison looked at me sideways and asked repeatedly, “Are you sure?” Yes. Purchased it. Done. This would surely take the responsibility of the perfect holiday off my shoulders and place it where it should be – on preparing the perfect meal. Problem solved, except for one thing — I didn’t like this table

In the weeks that led up to Thanksgiving, every time I laid eyes on that table, my disdain grew. Why did I buy that? I’d tell myself, “Because it seats ten and, Dude, you saved the holidays!” Then I’d tell myself, “Maybe I’ll grow to like it.” I did not.

Weeks later, as I enjoyed a wonderful holiday dinner at the peculiar table of my choosing, I knew that I could not continue living the lie. Post holidays, I confessed my indiscretion. As I expected, Alison said she never liked the table either. She was surprised that her furniture snob husband picked out the table and was very adamant about purchasing it – but reluctantly she went along with it.

So, the marketplace ad will read: Dining table for sale. Seats ten. Codependency issues force sale.