Swimsuit Shopping

Careful what you put in your online dating profile. That’s what came to me as I began my second hour of bathing suit judging with Alison this weekend. There was the one that showed too much of this and the one didn’t show enough of that; the one that would make funny tan lines, the one that bunched in the wrong places, and the one that … well, you get the idea.

Let me back up – this wasn’t our first date. In fact, I met Alison two years ago. So judging bathing suits at this juncture in our relationship seems appropriate. At least to me.

While sitting in a cruelly upholstered chair just outside the dressing room, patiently waiting for the next doomed ensemble to debut, I suddenly realized I was responsible for bringing this into my life. How? Way back when, I wrote a dating profile and one of my well-crafted lines was…  “I am fully capable of holding your purse while you dance or while you shop at Dillards.” I was trying to be funny, not prophetic. 

Ugh, after another failed suit showing, I get back to what any guy would do in this situation: researching performance car parts on my phone. Within a few clicks, I’m good again. Centered. I like car parts. I’ve got this. Until I realize my phone battery is in the single digits. Panic sets in. With the last few minutes of my iPhone’s life, I snap a selfie and post a desperate message – a plea for help (and/or attention).  


Alison bought 2 swimsuits that day. Then promptly returned them. Alison and I are still together, but she now shops for bathing suits on her own. 

Dave Miller

Back40 Design


In Other Words with Dave

Browse By Story Category

Advertise Your Business

Outlook readers are a dynamic, diverse audience of active consumers.

Advertise  >

The Edmond Outlook is the largest local, monthly magazine covering 50,000 homes with free, direct-mail delivery.

About Us  >

Browse Recent Issues

The Edmond Outlook is a monthly full-color, glossy magazine devoted to the Edmond area. Each exciting edition captures the vibrant personalities and interesting stories that define and connect us all.

View All  >