DAVE: Crosstown Trifecta

“Yes, Mr. Miller, your new sunglasses are ready. Would you like to pick them up today? We close at 5pm.” I’ve heard it said that mistakes come in threes. This was my first one…my answer was yes. Traveling clear across Edmond at drive-time to pick up a vanity item before the weekend? Sign me up. I’ll accept that challenge.

Hmmm…what car do I take? I could take my late wife’s SUV. Seems like a smart choice—a safe vehicle offering a commanding view of the traffic around me. Nah, I opt for my little sports car. Two mistakes down; one to go. My midlife crisis vehicle is built for speed, maneuverability, the occasional trackday event. Plus it’s been lowered, which offers an excellent view of the bumper of the car in front of me.

I take a moment to prepare myself mentally—no, I don’t, the clock is ticking. I need my fashion accessory and every moment I’m not on my way, cars are flooding my intended route.

I pull out of my neighborhood and inject myself into 15th Street traffic. Less than a minute later, I’m in the heart of what the City of Edmond spends millions on—traffic planning.

I drive patiently and then wait patiently at traffic signals. I deny the urge to constantly switch lanes and jockey for the optimum position at every stop light. Very Zen like (yet I enjoy judging others who do—not very Zen like). This goes on for miles, then my resolve starts to weaken. I am now regretting every missed opportunity to shave valuable seconds off my itinerary.

Then it happens. I look, signal, abruptly change lanes and accelerate past the situation that I deemed unacceptable—and BAM! I’ve just been hit by someone executing the same time-saving maneuver except they didn’t do the ‘look’ part. Mistake number three happens less than a mile from my destination. No new sunglasses for me.

I pull off on a side street. The other car does the same. I exit my vehicle and approach the driver who looks no more than 16. He says “I’m sorry I hit you. I don’t have insurance. I don’t even have a license.” After a long pause, I smile and ask him “Have you ever heard that mistakes come in threes?”