DAVE: An Apology and a Smile

Sandy Miller

When it comes to scrambled eggs, I’m a master chef. I know just how my wife likes them. Fluffy, with a side of bacon and buttery toast – pasture raised butter. I deliver Sandy’s meal on a tray and she sends me packing for a napkin. When I return, she asks for some salt and for me to hand her the remote. I know she can’t operate the remote without her glasses, so I get ahead of her next request and I deliver both. After I take care of the kitchen, I stay close by in case she needs me for something else.

I should mention there’s usually an apology and a smile that comes with her requests. And she often tells me she feels like all she does is order me around. While it’s true I do a lot for her, I wouldn’t have it any other way. How did our relationship come to this? Cancer. Over the past year and a half there have been treatments, procedures and operations—but now we are done with all that. Here we are now—in love and in hospice.

This journey was not part of our plan. But it has transformed us. There’s a different appreciation we have for time—for our time together, for life, for love, for family and friends. There’s a certain beauty to it—it would be wonderful to have this transformation without the diagnosis but it didn’t work out for us that way. So for now, Sandy and I will continue to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us, in people, relationships and the love people have shown us.

I’d write more but Sandy would like a peppermint tea and a blanket. I’m on that. 

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