LOUISE: A New Year's Bucket List

 

Written by Louise Tucker Jones in the January 2015 Issue

January is all about resolutions—exercise more, eat healthy, lose weight, read a good book, watch less TV, spend more time with family, stop stressing over work and traffic… Sound familiar? Well, as Dr. Phil would say, “How’s that working for you?”

NotepadI stopped making resolutions years ago. It’s not that they are bad, but for some of us, they cause even more tension. Mine would usually look like this: publish a new book, walk on the treadmill every day, cut out all sugar, especially chocolate—way too stringent for this chocoholic writer.

That’s the problem with most resolutions. We make them so precise and so far out of our comfort zone that they stress us out the very first week. So this year I’m reversing tactics. Instead of adding things to do, I’m kicking things off my long-time “bucket list.” Things I will never do, no longer want to do, shouldn’t do and was crazy to even think of doing.

Here it goes.

  1. I will not be an exercise fiend. Never have been but kept hoping some “running” gene would eventually kick into my DNA and I would be out doing marathons.
  2. I will not limit my chocolate intake. After all, the American Heart Association says chocolate is good for your health—and no, I am not checking to see if it is dark or milk chocolate. That would be discrimination.
  3. I will not be spending a year in Paris or Spain. That goes back to college days when I was studying foreign languages and wanted to become fluent. But these days I have forgotten most of my French and Spanish and can barely handle a week away from home.
  4. I am not going to write a best-seller book series like Harry Potter. Somehow my rhyming children’s books just don’t make good movie formats.
  5. I will never be an accomplished musician since my talents are limited to playing “Chopsticks” on the piano along with a few chords of “Beautiful Brown Eyes.”
  6. I will never compete in the Miss, Mrs., Ms. America pageant. I have long exceeded the age and size limit.
  7. I will never get a black belt in karate. Yep, another one of those college aspirations when I was taking karate and jujitsu lessons. However, I did get my picture in the Tulsa World for being the first girl to take the self-defense class at NSU. At my age, that seems sufficient.
  8. I will not travel “around the world in 80 days.” Jet lag is understated and I really like America.
  9. I will no longer spell out bad words when I’m talking. My kids are grown and my older friends can’t figure out what I am saying.
  10. I refuse to be predictable. If I don’t shock or surprise someone once in a while I’ve become way too boring.

So there you have it. My big-time bucket list of things I will never do. Oh, just one more thing. I also refuse to ever go to another dance alone. For those who tell you, “Just go—you’ll enjoy it.” Huh-uh! Been there. Done that. And it wasn’t fun. And no, I’m not explaining. Draw your own conclusions and make your own “don’t do” bucket list. You will be surprised how free you feel. You might even decide to make some New Year’s resolutions. 

Let’s see, now what would my resolutions look like if I made them.

  1. 1.     Don’t be dramatic…tell the truth at all times…never exaggerate….

Happy New Year! 

3 Comments

Deborah hatt Says:
January 7th, 2015 at 10:12 am
Another fun story, Louise. I love these! Bravo, my dear lady!

Karen Acton Isaacson Says:
January 8th, 2015 at 11:36 am
Louise, you've done it again. I always smile when I read your stories and this one made me giggle out loud! I love the idea of a Don't Do Bucket List! Think I'll make my own.

Pat Bissett Says:
January 12th, 2015 at 8:35 am
i agree with your list. It works for me! Happy New Year! And please never stop writing! You are such an inspiration to all of us'
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